marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was confusing and full of hummus
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
