It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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