There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
