I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
