your room smells of hookers.
And success
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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