Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
