"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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