Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Will exercising make me less horny?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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