NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
