he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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