Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
