Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
