i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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