grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
