oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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