I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
