"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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