I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
