quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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