I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
