Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please, let me fuck your mom
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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