i need an iv and a liver transplant
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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