rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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