He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
