Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
