you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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