i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
