You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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