Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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