similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm bleeding and have questions
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
