all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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