so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
