Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
