i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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