i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
