She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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