We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
