my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
