Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
