Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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