Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
