I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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