I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
