From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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