so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
