youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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