They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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