you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
