At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
