If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
