it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize