Got a toothbrush?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
