After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
