Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize