it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everclear isn't food dammit
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
