He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
