Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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