a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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