Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
