Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
