i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
