So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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