Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
