you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize