But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
