You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
